Gifted Education and Women
Catana
5 Comments
Pursuing the ideas from the previous post, from a different perspective.
I just read a little book that started me thinking in quite a different way than the author intended. In Where Have All the Smart Women Gone? Alice Rowe discusses her study of 34 college-educated women. Most of them, as might be expected, were in traditional jobs—teacher, nurse, etc. The book deals primarily with feelings—self-esteem, disappointment in relation to their early expectations and plans for themselves, and ambivalence about choices that weren’t freely made. The book’s context is gender—the pressures on women to conform to certain roles, and all the other gender-based limitations that still exist in the 21st century.
But as I read, I started seeing the problems from a different perspective. Many of the complaints actually had nothing to do with gender. Gifted men (I think it’s safe to assume that smart women can usually be considered gifted) express the same thoughts. Rowe said that when the women in her study were young they “heard the message that they could do anything, but they weren’t necessarily given the skills to do it.”
They spoke of guilt for not making the best use of their gifts and about the feeling that they should be accomplishing great things. One said “I feel as though there are some things that I’m supposed to do, and I’m trying to figure out what they are.”
Of course, everybody assumes they have these feelings because they’re women, rather than seeing to the heart: that the problem is their giftedness. The feelings of failure, dissatisfaction, unfulfilled dreams aren’t gender-
based. Their cause, the failure of gifted education, does undeniably impact more heavily on women than on men. Because society expects achievement from men, they have at least that much support to motivate their struggles. Most women have no such support.
In order to achieve success you have to know what your talents are. You have to trust that they can get you where you want to go. Men start with an advantage because all doors are open to them. Their talents and strengths have a chance to come into consciousness in the context of the work they do, in the form of rewards—promotions, salary increases, opportunities for additional education. If a man and a woman, equally intelligent and equally well-educated, are struggling with the notion that there’s something more important to achieve, if only they could figure out what it is, the man is far more likely to discover it. Or at least some approximation.
If cognitive self-knowledge is a tool which enables the gifted to find a satisfying career path, the lack of such a tool creates an additional handicap for women. Added to social expectations, pressures to settle for less, the difficulties of being accepted in traditionally male jobs, such lack means that gifted women are doubly handicapped; by both gender and giftedness. The struggle to pursue a “male” career path is difficult enough. The woman who wants to break away from defined paths and create her own needs not only self-knowledge, but tremendous self-confidence and strength. Where are the tools she needs to sustain her in that struggle?
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Reader Comments (5)
And I'm reading Sylvia Ann Hewitt's Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children, where she points out that while highly successful men seek the intelligent, high powered, career oriented woman to date, most would rather not have their wives' careers eclipse their own.
Fortunately, I wasn't one of those high-powered women, and my husband wasn't one of those highly successful men. We were both equally matched in intelligence and drive though - and very supportive of each other in our career goals. We weren't for money or prestige, just for something where we were able to use our intelligence.
Still, after having 2 babies in 2.5 years, and trying to strike a balance between the work and family, it soon became clear that there wasn't one to be had. I had my last day of work when the youngest one was 9 months old. I felt, finally, after 12 years of continuous work (starting from my junior year of college), I'd be able to have the time to be introspective and carve out a new path. Being "forced out" of the workforce (in the sense that there is little support for working mothers - and it is true that working mothers still bear the brunt of the responsibility for caring for the home and children) has certainly given me a lot to think about.
It as been both been a difficult thing to accept as well as a blessing in disguise. After going straight from college into the job force with 3 job changes (and no more than a week between the end of one job and the start of another), I finally had time to evaluate the course of my life to date and determine where to go from here.
But then life had other plans when I conceived baby #3 after only 3 months of being home. So my self-analysis was postponed because I was struggling to adjust to being a SAHM. But now that my "baby" is almost 3, I have more of an opportunity for introspection. I started this introspection in earnest about 3 months ago.
At first I kind of felt panic, because I realize that there aren't easy on-ramps once you've left with workforce for a few years (especially when you left your job and never kept in contact with anyone). But after spending a few months studying the issue, I'm coming to a point of peace for myself.
I have no idea if I will be able to re-create the work life I had (prospects on that are dim). But I also think that since I've been there and done that, now it may be time for something else. I'm really okay with trying something new.
I have no urgent need to work, so I have time on my side. Though if you asked me 3 months ago I would have been almost beside myself with anxiety about it. I've come to realize that even more important to me than money, is to be able to put my mind to good use. I was more upset about not feeding my brain for 3 years, than I had about a missing paycheck. Now that my brain has come out of a long hibernation, I am feeding it daily [thanks to the internet, and blogs like yours! :) ], and I feel pretty confident I can create something for myself I'm satisfied with.
I've always credited two things to help me along find my way - being introspective, and finding supportive people to validate the thoughts I was generating. I wasn't getting validation from family, but fortunately, I was able to find support elsewhere. This validation I sought came from some other very introspective friends, their parents, and teachers. I realize now that a great deal of my "success" also has come from a lot of luck - simple the luck to find sources of validation and the opportunity to start thresh things out in my mind in my late teen years. I realize now most young people do not have supportive people who help them work through some of their thoughts and feelings.
All children need this, and especially, I think this could help gifted people find their way. Not exactly advice on what "to do", but having a safe outlet for exploring thoughts and feelings and having a trusted source of feedback and other perspectives to consider (which will either cause you to hold firm to your beliefs or will cause adjustments in your beliefs). Like a stone will hone metal into a blade, so will exploring your beliefs with others you are able to trust will help sharpen your goals.
No matter what my girls choose on their career path, I hope I give them that one gift - a safe place with which to discuss and explore their goals.
But comparing men's and women's opportunities to find themselves, I'm not sure it's worse for women. Most men get slotted into jobs and careers before they have an opportunity to make real choices, and then their time and energy are consumed by obligations to work and family. Maybe women are actually a little better off if they can learn to balance childcare with time for themselves. And once the children are in school, there's even more time available. Some reasons why women don't make better use of the opportunities--having bought into the idea that they exist for their family's sake and that their own needs aren't important. Not knowing how to go about educating themselves or thinking about their talents and options. Lack of support. Are there support groups, forums, etc. for home-bound women trying to keep their minds and hopes alive? If not, they're certainly needed.
At any rate, one of my desires has always been to help others navigate through to a life they can be at peace with. That's my way of "paying it forward" because I know I'll never be able to repay those who've helped me along the way - and I know for certain I would never be the kind of person I am without having been validated when I needed it most.